There has been so much swirling around in my head the past few weeks that I’m surprised I haven’t dropped over from dizziness.
I’ve been on autopilot since the holidays. Or survival mode. Whatever you want to call it.
We had a wonderful holiday break! So much so that I totally forgot about “the list,” those tasks that I wanted and needed to get done before school started again. When I woke up on January 4th I was already behind. Ack! And so I’ve been trying to play catch-up ever since. But my lack of organization caught up to me first.
Two weeks ago on Thursday I was done.
It was in the morning and we were doing school.
Within a five minute period I swear, “Mom!” was said close to 200 times. And that’s not an exaggeration! Marie is home now doing all her college classes online for this semester while she prepares to leave on a mission. She asked for help with some computer problem just as Abby and Debbie both asked for help with their pre-Algebra. Of course, several of the littler ones were asking if they could watch a movie or they needed help getting their shoes on (which had already been put on their feet twice before!) or who knows what else.
In frustration I grumbled, “Argh! I feel like I’m being pulled a million different ways!”
To which Debbie replied with a smile on her face, “Well, you’re the one who had us all AND decided to homeschool.”
“I know, I know. But seriously, listen to how many times ‘Mom’ is being said right now!”
Wouldn’t you know within five seconds there were about seven “Mom!”s said.
And we all started laughing. Because it really was funny.
All of them, from the 18 year old down to the baby (who can’t say mom) needed me. And then in an instant I felt totally overwhelmed. While we laughed I blurted out, “I think I’m going to cry!”
And I did! I cried and laughed and cried and laughed and then just cried.
I think while I rinsed off my face the older girls must have given the younger kids ‘The Look.’ No one said “Mom!” for a little while, though they did ask for help.
Five minutes after this happened I received a text from my sister-in-law asking if the youngest four (not including Henry) could come play at her house after lunch.
While they were gone I took an hour long nap then got up and organized the pantry. It felt good to have something organized! I started slow putting order back to our days. We began with a couple of hours, the school hours, in the morning. Then modified that so not everyone is calling for MOM all at once. 😀
Now we are back on schedule and I feel so much better. Actually schedule isn’t the right word. More like a rhythm. Yes, I like that better. I’ve learned my lesson that for my and my family’s sake we need structure and organization or it gets to be too overwhelming and chaotic. Having a steady rhythm makes our days flow more smoothly. While our daily flow is pretty good it can be better. Small changes are in the works. Nothing big or major. I’ve found that usually small changes bring greater balance to our lives and are easier to implement.
The Small Seed has a series going on right now called “Mastering Your Day” which I have thoroughly enjoyed reading and gleaning ideas from. There is so much I want to do and be! There is so much room for improvement. I have to remind myself that I don’t need to do it all or be it all. I need to focus on what the Lord needs me to do this minute, this day.
So this year I am working on becoming more. And yes, I realize the best way to become more is to probably do less.
One of my favorite hymns is More Holiness Give Me.
More holiness give me,
More strivings within,
More patience in suff’ring,
More sorrow for sin,
More faith in my Savior,
More sense of his care,
More joy in his service,
More purpose in prayer.
More gratitude give me,
More trust in the Lord,
More pride in his glory,
More hope in his word,
More tears for his sorrows,
More pain at his grief,
More meekness in trial,
More praise for relief.
More purity give me,
More strength to o’ercome,
More freedom from earth-stains,
More longing for home.
More fit for the kingdom,
More used would I be,
More blessed and holy–
More, Savior, like thee.
For my non-Mormon friends take a minute to listen to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sing it!
That is the type of MORE I am aiming for.
***For more spiritual enlightenment read this great talk by H. David Burton***