I returned from a business trip a few weeks ago to find that my son had grown some while I was gone. He looked bigger. I told him it made me sad, and asked him to please stop.
He said “I can’t.” Then, sensing a teaching opportunity, he gave me a sad, sympathetic smile and said, pausing between each word, “Dad, Growing is life.”
* * * * *
On another business trip this week, I received a report that my son, soccer-lover extraordinaire, had absolutely refused to go to day 1 of soccer camp. ‘Too many kids;’ ‘I can practice in my back yard;’ ‘they don’t even play real games there’: it was scary.
On the morning of day 2, I called him. “Rex, are you going to go to soccer camp today?” “I don’t know, too many kids, they don’t even play real games there . . . etc.”
“Rex, what did you tell me about growing a while ago?”
pause.
“Growing is life.”
“That’s right, Rex. And how do we grow?”
“Exercise?”
“Yep. We challenge ourselves, right?”
“Yes. We have to do hard things.”
“That’s right. Do you want to grow?”
“Yes.”
“Because growing is life, right?”
“Yes.”
“Can you challenge yourself and go to soccer camp today? If you do, you will grow.”
“Okay. I can.”
And he did.
I woke up in my own bed the morning of day 3. Rex crawled into bed and cuddled with me for a while. Then Macy told him to go up and get ready for soccer camp. He jumped out of our bed, ran upstairs, and got ready. His ride had picked him up before I was out of bed.
Rex had done some more growing while I was gone.
This time I didn’t ask him to stop.
*Okay, to be honest, Rex’s change in attitude might have had something to do with his mom’s patient encouragement, her accompanying him to soccer camp and staying the whole time, her wise marshaling of a few good buddies to go along with him, and the many conversations they had about it while I was off on my own adventures. But what are those things compared to a two-minute phone call from a distant dad?
Ryan and his wife, Macy, live in Salt Lake City, with three outstanding little kids, a job at a local law firm, and an undersized house with an oversized trampoline. He loves reading, writing, college football, and competing athletically against his small children. He blogs with two of his brothers at Don’t Do Dumb Things.
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I can’t tell you how many times a few short sentences from dad have helped my kids to effect big changes. It’s great (and a teensy bit annoying). 🙂
Ha, Steph, “a teensy bit annoying”! So funny! I remember when I had my first baby boy and he would stop crying for my husband when he came home from school (a few days in a row). A teensy bit…OH, Whatever works! 🙂 Thank goodness for Daddies!
i have to agree with steph’s last comment…the “annoying” one. But I think it’s cuz moms usually harp and dads just suggest once. I guess I was a harpee….and I still am one. But thankfully, my kids did grow up with a dad who could suggest and show by example. But there might have been balance. Who knows.
Guess we all grow…continually. Grow and Learn and Develop.
So true…I always lean on my husband to give a few words of advice or threaten….whatever it may be. But it always works for dad…go figure! There is something even more magical about it when it happens through the telephone…I don’t know why, but that’s the way it is. Great post!
It’s so great to hear from a Dad!!
I love when we are able to make that kind of connection with our children. And then I am humbled, when they remind me that the same lesson applies to me!
Cute
Dad’s are so important (although I agree with steph’s last bit…) and the advice, few words on the phone, little spans of time they spend with kids…all add up to some VERY important additions to the family.
Thanks for the post. It was a great reminder not to take my dh few words on the phone for granted! 🙂
I always ask my kids to stop growing, but they in return say something like, how am I supposed to be like Jesus if I don’t grow 🙂 Sweet post, thanks for sharing!
This one really hit home. Fathers are so special. Thank goodness for good ones!
Sweet. Encouraging words from fathers (and mother’s)are special. Thanks for sharing.
Yes, a two minute phone call from Dad can work wonders that takes an entire day for Mom. I agree..teensy bit annoying. But isn’t it awesome how moms and dads are so complimentary to kids?? I LOVE IT:)
With 4 boys of my own I know how important a dad’s words are.
Dad’s are irreplaceable for SURE! I can tell my kids ten times to do something or stop doing something, changing my tone, tactics, etc. EVERY time. And dad says something once and it’s like they got marching orders!!! Yes, Jocelyn — whatever works!!! Good thing we’re equal partners in this crusade!!!
Hooray for dads!
I like the name “don’tdodumthings.com” When my husband served an LDS mission “Don’t Do Dumb Things” was their mission motto. His mission president had it printed on posters and made them hang it in every missionaries apartment. Apparently there had been issues.
My husband works two jobs so i can stay home and our kids love talking with him on the phone. It has become just part of the everyday. Good to know that we aren’t the only ones.
You have a wise and very cute son. 🙂 I love hearing about dads who are so involved, even when they are working or away, with their children.
Growing, physically and otherwise, is so hard. Having Dad there to advise makes a huge difference. I love watching my husband take those moments in life to encourage our children to grow.