Are you happy? Seems like a simple enough question. For many people, though, answering it can be complicated. I’ve often heard people say that they aren’t looking for happiness they are looking for joy, as if being happy is somehow elusive or bad.
I am naturally a cheerful person. I am happy! No one has ever described me as a sad, down, or disheartened person. I really and truly do love life! And that has come with some consequences. People have accused me of being out of touch with reality, of not accepting the pain of trials, of being naive and clueless. I’ve never really known what to say because I have experienced pain, and disappointment, and grief, and loss. I have learned through those trials this simple truth: God does not leave me alone. With that knowledge how can I help but be happy?
In her new book, “The Happiness Dare“, author Jennifer Dukes Lee writes, “The cynics will tell us that we’re being naive and silly when we talk about stalking happiness. But positive thinking and happiness are not signs of weakness. They are signs of our strength. Sometimes being joyful and grateful are the hardest, strongest things we can do in hard times. Happiness can change the world, but first it has to change us. We can’t give to the world what we don’t already have.” (pg. 46)
I’m kind of ashamed to admit that I’ve let some of those criticisms get to me. I haven’t been as upfront in sharing all the good in my life as I used to do on this blog. Have you noticed? It’s been pretty quiet around here all year. Why? Guilt. And fear. Mostly because I didn’t want my happiness to be the source of someone else’s unhappiness. As I’ve been reading The Happiness Dare I’m realizing that that is something I have to change.
And I will. I am taking The Happiness Dare and invite you to do the same!
I am loving this book! Not that anything is really new in it but that somehow Jennifer has been able to bring all the things I do know together in a way that resounds with my soul.
God wants us to be happy!
That’s why He created this beautiful world for us.
Every sunrise, every cloud, every rainbow in the sky. Every mountain peak, every river, every ocean deep. The birds, the insects, the ants in the dirt. The laughter of children, the hand holding with your husband, the hugs from good friends. Each are made to bring us a measure of joy, a reminder of the Giver of all good gifts.
Happiness is a choice.
One of my favorite scriptures is Philippians 4:11, “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”
Sometimes life just stinks. It does. But we can still choose. Will we succumb and wallow in the mire of bitterness? Or will be reach out to God pulling ourselves up to face the challenge?
“So much in life depends on our attitude. The way we choose to see things and respond to others makes all the difference. To do the best we can and then to choose to be happy about our circumstances, whatever they may be, can bring peace and contentment. . . .We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude.” (Thomas S. Monson, Living the Abundant Life)
Happiness is itself a form of gratitude.
It is impossible to be truly happy and ungrateful at the same time. Keeping a gratitude journal is one way of showing God you noticed the gifts He has given you that day. Naming the blessings helps us see ourselves and those around us as God sees us.
If we fail to acknowledge the gifts do we also fail to acknowledge the Giver?
Happiness never goes out of style.
Did you know there are different happiness styles? The things that make me happy might not necessarily bring you happiness. Makes sense, right? Take this assessment to see what your happiness style is. It takes less than five minutes.
Mine? I tied as a Giver and an Experiencer.
“Givers find supreme happiness by seeking ways to bring delight to others. They believe that a shared happiness is a double happiness.”
“Experiencers find supreme happiness by engaging in meaningful moments with a sense of adventure, curiosity, and whimsy – at home or on the road.”
These both resonate with me and, consequently, my type of mothering. I relish the small moments of each stage of childhood. I try to find ways to bring delight to my children and in turn delight in their happiness.
What happiness style are you?
Jennifer expounds on the different styles of happiness in the book, what they look like and how they are expressed.
Be a happiness seeker. Read The Happiness Dare. Spread happiness wherever you go!
I love this and I love how happy you are! I’m sorry anyone has made you feel like holding back. Your cheerfulness and enthusiasm for life are inspiring and bring joy to ME as you share them! I know how you feel, though. Sometimes when things seem hard and sad for people we love or even just know about, it’s tricky to know how to empathize while remaining upbeat. I worry about seeming smug or oblivious. Or that I am overdramatizing some blessing I’ve gotten, like I’m trying to brag about it or something! I would hate to do that! But I just always think of that scripture Ammon said (or was it Aaron?) –“who can glory too much in the Lord? If this is boasting, even so j will boast!” ? I think as long as we’re trying to give the correct credit to God, to glory in Him, it will do us and others good to hear it!
Anyway, I’m no expert–still trying to get the right balance myself–but I love your obvious happiness and how you share it!!
Thanks for this post-I’ll have to read this book!
I love that scripture! I need to remember and follow it more. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂 It IS hard to balance happiness and gratitude when there are also sorrows and trials, especially in the lives of those we love. I guess I’m learning I’d rather err on the side of praising God but sometimes that is shown best by mourning with those that mourning even in my stumbling way.
I LOVE this post! Happiness IS a choice. I keep trying to teach my kids that. Just over two years ago I delivered my seventh child stillborn. During the pregnancy I had a feeling that something was wrong. As I got closer to my due date and the feeling intensified I decided I was going to be very angry if I lost the baby. When I got to the hospital that day everything changed. I knew in my heart God loved me and He could help me accept this if I let him. People would always ask me how I got through it and still have a smile on my face. I choose to be happy. I choose to turn to God during my trials to help the burden be lighter. For me I think I’m happier because of hard times because that is when I feel closest to God. I feel we ultimately have two choices. We can turn to God and be happy, or we can deny his help and end up who knows where. It’s our choice.
I love reading your blog and seeing how happy you are! Don’t let others stifle that, that’s what satan wants. Continue spreading and sharing your joy and happiness!!
Totally agree with your outlook! Happiness is a choice, and God wants us to be happy! He has been with me through personal tornadoes and hurricanes, and blessed with with tender mercies. I love your posts, they always brighten my days.
AuntSue
I’m so sorry that you’ve been told you are clueless and naive. I wonder if deep down those folks are just lashing out because they want to feel the happiness that you feel and they don’t know how. Sometimes if we don’t know how to achieve what others have we instead try to pull them down to our own miserable state. Perhaps they think your life is all sunshine and rainbows and their own is full of trials and tribulations and they feel jealous.
Anyway, whatever it is, you don’t deserve to be told that. Not that I know you personally, but from what you post you do seem genuinely positive and happy. I wish I could feel that way and exude that kind of happiness myself! I don’t know if it’s the depression and anxiety I struggle with constantly or what, but I don’t remember what it feels like to be happy. Not really. I remember years ago when I felt happy, but everything since has been so gray. Yet, I can still agree that God wants us to be happy and much of it is a choice! I may not honestly FEEL happy, but I can still use positive words, body language, and actions. I can keep my thoughts positive! I don’t have to go around spreading misery and negativity even if I don’t feel happy inside. I can still trust God during my trials- including the trial of not feeling happy inside!! And hey, if I ever do make it out of the gray of depression during this life, I’ll likely find far more joy in feeling happy because I’ve been without it for so long! That’s something to look forward to for sure.
I enjoyed your post and I enjoy your positive blog and the joyful moments you share. Keep it coming!