It was lunchtime. The temperature on that mid-August day was sweltering at 105. It was all hands on deck as harvest on the third crop of alfalfa was fully underway. My job was to feed the extra farm crew, a couple of Mr. Ferrero Rocher’s brothers and several nephews. And, boy, were they hungry! It takes a lot of food to keep grown men going.
My own morning had been busy making sure my older girls, who were out raking, got breakfast and the littler ones were helping me clean the house and start lunch. I was feeling a bit rundown actually. Then a little tender mercy was sent my way in the form of a compliment. As I placed the last serving bowl on the table before we said the prayer over lunch one brother-in-law said, “Montse, I’ve noticed this summer that no matter what work is going on you still manage to dress nice and not frumpy.” My husband heartily agreed and that was it. Nothing major but it sure made my day. The outfit I was wearing is one of my favorites because it transfers well from season to season. I had the sleeves rolled up and black flats on.
I’ve thought about that comment often. I don’t think I ever really consciously made the decision to dress nice even if all I did was stay home all day. It was just ingrained in me as I watched my own mother. She seemed to always dress in attractive and comely attire . Sure she would wear clothes that was run-down or had paint stains or whatever on them when grubby work needed to be done but as soon as she could she would change into something lovely again.
Mothers very easily fall into the mindset of “Can I just stay in my pj’s all day?” because most days the only ones who see us are our kids and husband. Why bother trying to look nice when your day is spent wiping up spills, folding laundry, and holding littles who like to pull hair (or earrings)? Why bother?
Motherhood is a job worth dressing for.
Most work places have a certain dress code for their employees to follow. It builds an atmosphere of productivity and creates respect for the job. Shouldn’t we do the same for the even more important job of motherhood? Most certainly! Moms should dress for success.
Motivation.
When I take the time to dress nicely I am more motivated to get stuff done. I think there’s a reason lounge wear is called lounge wear! As mothers we don’t have time for that so don’t even create that mood by staying in yoga pants or sweats.
Productivity.
This goes hand in hand with motivation. You actually get more done and feel better about yourself and your job as a mother when you are dressed better.
Attitude.
Frumpy makes you grumpy. Really, it does! Change that by dressing for success. Of course, it’s not a cure all to dress better but it does make for a happier mama and consequently a happier household.
Respect.
I show my husband and my children that I respect not only myself but them when I take the time to be presentable. Taking care of them is one of the most important parts of my life! I show them that by how I dress for my job as a wife and mother. I’m also trying to be an example to my children for when they are mothers (and fathers) of their own.
Helpful tips:
- Plan your outfit the night before and get it ready.
- Remember the rule of 3 – a top (shirt or sweater), a bottom (pants, shorts, or skirt), and something else (an accessory) makes an outfit look put together.
- Accessorize! Scarves, belts, necklaces, or earrings add to an outfit and take it from blah to much better. Hair accessories like headbands, clips, and barrettes can add to your look – even if all you wear is a ponytail.
- Learn to style your hair in a few different ways. Whether you do braids or twists, curl or straighten your hair find something new to do. With practice it really doesn’t take much time, trust me.
- Invest in a few good staples – a couple of cute tops (not t-shirts!), a cardigan, nice pants, a skirt, and even a couple of pairs of cute but functional shoes. You’ll use them over and over again because you will feel good and dressed up in them.
- Aprons. Seriously, aprons, more specifically CUTE aprons, are a lifesaver when you can’t dress nicely! They are my back-up plan that never fails. I don’t dress up every single day because there are some days where I am working in the garden all day or painting or deep cleaning or just don’t quite feel like it. So I throw on a cute apron, especially right before my husband comes home, and voila! I still look put together and serious about my job. 🙂
Places I like to buy accessories and clothes that aren’t too expensive include Pick Your Plum, Zulily, Lands’ End Clearance, and GroopDealz. Because of where we live we do most of our shopping online.
Have you tried dressing up more even if you are just at home all day?
What do you do to add a little spice to your outfit?
What tricks do you have to save time getting ready in the morning but still look great?
This post is part of the Establish a House series that runs every Wednesday on my blog.
If I know that I have a really gross job to do, such as scrubbing the bathroom…I actually get dressed up or at least do my HAIR AND MAKEUP or something to make myself feel good. It pumps me up and helps me to have a good attitude. I figure, I don’t have to look gross to do a gross job!
My mother always dressed in what she called a house dress. To me it was just a robe (knee length with snaps down the front). I remember how embarrassed I always was, when she drove me to school. Someone once said “get up, dress up, and show up”, and that is how I feel. I agree with you that it is a sign of respect to be dressed with a little make-up on each day, for your family. You DO feel better. However, much of my tops are long and short sleeved tee shirts, so I disagree with that part!
Oh, I have t-shirts too. Wearing a scarf or necklace though makes it a bit more dressy.
I have a standard fall/winter uniform: jeans, boots, and a sweater or long-sleeve shirt, sometimes with layers. In the spring and summer it’s long pants or capris with ballet flats or sandals and a nice blouse or a fitted tee. I add jewelry because it’s a very easy way to look more polished without sacrificing comfort. I buy stuff that looks nice AND is comfortable so I don’t have to pick.
My mom worked outside the home when I was growing up so she always dressed nicely- and she still does! I love clothes and fashion- they’re how I express myself creatively- so I think that’s the main reason I dress up. Even my pajamas at least have to match, and I do have certain “down time” clothes like track suits so I can still feel put together. 🙂
I love the apron idea- I need a pretty apron!
Oh, and sometimes in the spring and summer I’ll change it up and wear skirts too. They’re often much cooler than pants or leggings!
Yes to the skirts! Even some of my daughters after working on the farm will come home and put on a skirt because it is so hot and it helps them to cool down. It is so easy to make cute ones too.
Any suggestions for online skirt patterns? Sounds like a good project to work on this Spring!
Here are a few that we’ve followed and liked.
The Domesticated Skirt – It’s reversible and also has the look of an apron and is very cute. http://www.sewastraightline.com/2010/03/domesticated-skirt.html
Maxi Skirt – very easy! http://thewinthropchronicles.com/2013/05/maxi-skirt-tutorial/ We found knit fabric for super cheap and were able to make quite a few for the teens to share.
T-Shirt to Skirt – also very easy and super comfortable. Using old t-shirts or getting ones that are on clearance make it super cheap. http://whilecamdensleeps.com/2013/08/t-shirt-to-skirt-refashion-outfit-for.html
Half Circle Wrap Around Skirt a good one for little girls on up to women sizes: https://www.cranialhiccups.com/2010/10/half-circle-wrap-around-skirt-tutorial.html
5 Minute Skirt I’ve also made this with regular elastic just cutting extra fabric for the casing. http://angrychicken.typepad.com/angry_chicken/2008/07/5-minute-skirt.html
First, your mom is a classy lady and always looked nice. Same for your dad. I don’t remember ever seeing either one in jeans and a tee shirt.
You are right, it doesn’t take long to make a nice difference. I have been real lax. But I have a pattern laying on the living room floor right now. I am going to put away my jeans and go to palazzo pants. And I wear tees to the gym but am trying to put them away, too. I don’t have any excuses.
We are going to Pathway (online BYU-Idaho). It tells us to follow the code, so I wear dresses, Ed wears the white shirt and tie. The rest of the class laughed at us, but it is our way of following the honor code.
I love this post. Several years ago, I was diagnosed with lupus. It was a very difficult time and I struggled to accomplish even the most basic of tasks. Getting dressed nicely, fixing my hair, and putting on makeup made looking in the mirror less painful, gave me motivation to keep going, and gave me some momentum. Powerful stuff.
Isn’t it amazing the power behind positive thinking? Taking just a little time to pretty ourselves up really gives us a confidence boost. Thanks for sharing your story.
I always feel so much better during the day when I dress nice. Julie B. Beck came to our stake a couple of years ago and really stressed this point as she talked to the sisters. Great post! Thanks!!
Yup! I agree. My MIL had cancer and went through treatments. Every day she got up, showered, and fixed herself up. What an example she was to me.
I know I get more done on days that involve real pants and not pajamas. Shoes aren’t really necessary for that same experience, but real pants are.
I know I don’t worry too many days (well, 95% of them, honestly) what I actually look like, so far as clothes go, but I do know that staying in pajamas just gets me lazy and too comfy to feel like doing anything. 🙂
Thanks for starting the Establish a House posts again. They are always so enjoyable! So I have to admit I am not great at this. I do try to get dressed everyday because I can’t stand to be in real pajamas all day. However, yoga and pants and stretchy long-sleeve t-shirts are sometimes my pj’s and my outfit for the day. My hubby works nights a few times a week and I have to admit that really makes it hard to dress up some days because he is asleep all day. Also I am just finishing my first trimester with baby number 7, feeling blah, and being in that in between clothes stage makes the comfy stretchy clothes a little necessary. Make up and hair done helps a lot though to look ready to go. Here are a few things that help me get dressed: wearing real pj’s to bed, having a basket by the bathroom sink with make up, deodorant, hair brush, etc. so it is all there and easily accessible, 1 Corinthians 6:19 (knowing my body is a temple and should reflect that in the way I take care of myself), looking forward to the night when I can put my pajamas back on, and last but not least, having the feeling that any minute somebody I know is going to knock on my door (I hate being caught in pajamas without make up).
Also, I love aprons, but I have never owned one. I always see cute ones at Marshall’s and think about buying one, but I want to make sure I will wear it before I spend money on it. Awhile ago I used to watch a craft/cooking show and the host said, “Eastern girls where pin-striped, perfectly ironed aprons, Southern girls will frilly half aprons, and California girls don’t wear aprons.” Maybe there is some truth to that because I am a CA girl and we never had aprons in our house. Anyway, I am thinking a little more about buying one now, maybe I will grab one on my next shopping trip as an experiment.
We sew our own and I give them away as gifts to almost everyone – wedding gifts, bridal shower gifts, birthday gifts. I gave one to my sister-in-law and she immediately put it on. A few minutes later my brother and i noticed she was humming and almost skipping around the house starting to clean. She remarked, “I think this apron has some sort of magical powers. I WANT to clean!” It was pretty funny.
And I’m from the South and we do love frilly aprons!
The way a wife dresses also has an impact on her husband. Does he feel like a successful provider if he comes home to a frumpy wife? I am reminded of one of my favorite stories, “When Queens Ride By.’ You can read it here: http://pegsacademy.blogspot.com/2014/06/queens.html
Also, I frequently mourn the loss of femininity in today’s dress. Watching old movies, where the women look so lovely and feminine, makes me yearn for bygone days. Skirts go a long way to help in that department and I even have some “work skirts” that I can get dirty in and not worry about it.
I love “When Queen’s Ride By!” I remember reading it years ago. And, yes, bring on more femininity!
Around our house, aprons are a big deal. The little girls kept swiping mine and my oldest’s aprons, so we made them their own (very pretty!) aprons for Christmas, and they’ve been a huge hit. It’s the official “Doing Things” uniform here.
I guess I do sort of have a uniform for being at home–comfortable, well-fitted jeans or trousers, long skirts, breezy tops, and a range of light, tunic length sweaters are a pretty much year-round thing for me. I think of it this way: if I don’t wear real clothes during the day, how can I relish changing into my yoga pants in the evening? 😀
I am a slob…. and most days I’m okay with that, but your post was a great reminder. Thank you!
While at home, I’d fallen into the routine of jeans/ tee/ tennis shoes. The out of the house job I started last Christmas was very dressy and I had to quickly adapt my wardrobe for such a place. It was difficult for me, as I am more at home in casual clothing. When I started my new “dream” job as a county engineer and inspector, I needed to move back into jeans. What I quickly realized, though, was that if I showed up in jeans/ tee/ tennis, I did not get taken seriously. My normal work attire is now tailored jeans or cotton khaki slacks/ dressier pullovers and sweaters/ some sort of jewelry or scarf (I’m not really a scarf girl but I’m trying) and work boots. I get the attention I need to do my job effectively and am appropriately dressed for mucking around in drainage systems. I buy a majority of my clothing at consignment shops and a great thrift store. I have a hard time buying new to muck around in the dirt!
Oh my! This will be a game changer! Thanks so much for taking the time to share this. I totally need this. When being overwhelmed threatens to drown me, I think this will make a big difference. I cannot wait to try it.
I always had it as a habit to get up, shower, dress in real clothes, trying to look nice, and to put on make-up even if I was just staying home and cleaning and being with my children. I can’t stand to be in my pj’s after I get out of bed. 🙂 No one ever appreciated it except me, but it did help me.
This reminded me of something my mom sent in to the Ensign years ago. https://www.lds.org/ensign/1994/10/random-sampler?lang=eng (“My Career–Motherhood). Taking ourselves seriously as Women really is important.
I loved what your mom wrote! Thanks for sharing that.